This is a response to John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart. This response is written by my good friend Doug McIntire who has graciously given me permission to post it here.
I also want to point out that I found some other responses/reviews of this book that I believe are worthy of reading.
These links are provided here:
http://www.cbmw.org/Resources/Book-Reviews/Wild-at-Heart-by-John-Eldredge
Part I http://www.svchapel.org/Resources/Articles/read_articles.asp?id=94
Part 2 http://www.svchapel.org/Resources/Articles/read_articles.asp?id=98
Now, Doug's response:
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MILD AT HEART
A scriptural and personal response to John Eldridge’s
Wild at Heart By Doug McIntire
Edited by Kate McIntire
I have spent a great deal of time reading and studying the ideas put forth in John Eldridge’s book Wild at Heart. I have been thoroughly disquieted about the overall message but enjoyed many of the individual points. I have had some difficulty identifying the source of this disquiet largely because there is also a faint resonance in me and many men I have discussed the book with. The following are the readily identifiable points against the book.
First, many concepts are spiritualized thoughts thus building credibility into an idea without providing proper support from scripture. I use John Macarthur’s book How to Study the Bible as the guide. He speaks of five principles for biblical interpretation literal, historical, grammatical, synthesis and practical. “one part of the Bible doesn’t teach something that another part contradicts. So as you study the Scripture it must all fit together.[1] “Proper support from scripture entails citing scriptures that directly support an idea in context and content giving a particular nod to the original grammar and audience. It is important that these not be an isolated verse but a group of supporting ideas from several different locations. Scripture proves scripture! It is also important for the author to provide possible contradictory verses and explain how these do not apply or how they may be viewed as support.
“Learn to principlize the Scripture.” Read it and find out what spiritual principle is there that applies to you. But you can’t do that until you’ve gone through the other principles first: literal, historical, grammatical, and synthesis. You know what it means by what it says—now you come to how it applies to you.[2]
If this is not done the reader must do the work . I believe the author should do the work if they intend to edify people and teach in association with God’s word from a scholarly level. In a discussion with the doctor who thought I should read the book, I asked him if the ideas set forth in the text were scriptural or if some other ideas were possibly more in keeping with biblical values. To my dismay his reply was that he was unaware of what scripture said in regards to the text and its ideas. This is all too common.
Secondly the generalizations about gender given here are beyond what scripture supports. What I have seen in my life is a growing chasm between genders. It is one of the gravest problems of our time and cries out for healing. I am afraid that this book does not assist in that healing. As a matter of fact I felt an air of sexism that concerned me. It is too easy to inappropriately separate men and women and loose the Creators’ intent of deep intimacy here on earth. The intended connection that God gives to men and women is a mighty thing. The difficulty in living out the connection is a sad consequence of original sin. In this area we must as thoughtful Christians, repent.
This work, including the camps and associated activities Eldridge provides in his workshops in Colorado, has the earmark of a movement. Tips and tricks or magic bullet approaches to salvation, redemption, and sanctification all too common in the evangelical self help movement aimed at adapting our behavior rather than changing our hearts. It is critical that any thoughtful work with the goal of improving lives contain direction to the heart changing Holy Spirit. This is because the fruit of the spirit only grows on trees made alive and sanctified in the course of God’s audacious plan of redemption.
The covenant of grace is the basis of our walk. Having a more complete understanding of this set of principals is easy to begin but requires a lifetime of attentive study. It is so important to continue our growth in the fellowship of zealous believers. Revelation 3:19 “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
Secure mature Christians will respond to the truths found in Eldridge’s work. I do not wish to tear down an obvious brother, only to balance and possibly challenge him. I have witnessed many brothers who were impacted deeply to change. God is like that, His truth rises to the top or as the Gaelic saying goes “he strikes straight blows with crooked stick”. There is a bit of truth to find in this book if one is willing to be the Berean.
Many men have taken injury during their lives and do not know it or how to deal with it scripturally. It is too bad that so little of Eldridge’s book is aimed toward finding and using redemptive responses to these past hurts. Many chapters are aimed at and I believe will be construed as a blaming function, seeking hurt that may not exist. I cringed at the apparent bitterness of Eldridge’s observations about emasculation and the wound of men. I do not contain his hurt and do not feel emasculated; nor do the many men with whom I have discussed this opinion. It is true that there is an element in society which wishes men harm. It is also true that many people are confused about their roles as men and women.
I grew up in a time when men were very much encouraged to develop their feminine sides. This was successful in some areas of some men’s lives but, ironically, has backfired as does any solution that only focuses on one part of any issue. It left many men and women confused, including me. The feminist movement, in large part, erroneously—and, of course, futilely-- sought to purge men of their nature rather than challeng them to expand their understandings of how we are created.
Genesis 5:1b-2 says, “He made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created.” This could not be clearer: inherent in God’s composition are all the virtues which men and women, as mankind, possess. Given scriptures admonishments and God’s own example in His creation, direction, condemnation and salvation of us, it makes sense that to be fully like Him we become complete by willingly taking on creation’s virtues.
Richard Rohr and John Martos, in The Wild Man’s Journey, discuss the spiritual dilemma caused by gender confusion; and, while they are adherents to Joseph Campbell’s notion that our religion is myth, they nonetheless espouse the Catholic view of salvation through personal works. Despite their religious ambivalence, they have—in my opinion—a deep and erudite understanding of gender issues. They describe the 1970s-80s male acceptance of feminine virtues and explain how it left men unable to be masculine. Men of those decades, in their attempts to find within themselves the so-called feminine virtues of hearing, nurturing, consensus-building, etc., have lost the aptitude to create, act, initiate, and make final judgments.
Rohr and Martos suggest people, after developing the “common masculine” or “common feminine” (whichever is opposite their gender) will often overreact, and move backward into behaviors that are factual pretenses, as well as shallow gender distinction. For instance a man who has approximated and demonstrates several typically feminine virtues may conversely become disoriented from others’ ridicule or his own poor self image. In this disorientation, he will retreat into “shallow masculine” behaviors such as fake bravado, machismo, overly rational, insensitivity and so on. The challenge is to be deepened by the experience and to become more masculine or into the “deep masculine” by the completeness of embracing God’s entire image.
I am convinced that Eldridge’s book is a reactionary response to a positive but incomplete change in men’s understanding of their behavior. If we were to follow his lead, we might very well throw the baby out with the bath water. Men must realize that we are part of a creation and a valid and essential part. We are, however, incomplete and fallen. We must first be redeemed and then, secondly, grow. This includes growing past our nature. Women need to realize this and also know that they are not called to be men but to integrate masculine skills as part of their growth.
Although masculine and feminine virtues are created by God and, as such, are part of His design for us, I continually note the apparent spiritualization of Eldridge’s take on the subject. It appears he has an agenda that he wishes to support with infrequent and anomalous scripture choices. In his first several chapters, Eldridge’s work is peppered with isolated or partial scriptural references. Where the references were appropriate, they were not authenticated by reference to other similar and instructive scriptures on the same subject. Never once did he refer to these examples: Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek (mild, patient, longsuffering)… or 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers…
My masculine journey has been a long uphill journey against the expected inclinations of my inner sin nature and untamed selfishness, in order to become broken (that is, broken as in “to be trained”) so that I might be useful to God’s intent. The scriptures are replete with passages on self control, meekness and peace. Galatians 5:22-25 says,
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
Similarly, consider Titus 1:7-9:
For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.
also to the point, read in Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit.”
The book of Matthew records Jesus’ admonition that we are to take up His yolk for it is easy and light. In this I gather assurance that He wishes me to give up my selfish desires and allow myself to be harnessed for His glory. It is true that a stallion or maverick is wonderful to behold. In order to be more than a display, however, continuing with these analogies, one must also be tamed—as it were-- to the saddle or the yoke. When we visit a circus we don’t marvel at the wild behavior of an out of control beast, we are impressed by the tamed lion, the bear under control and the amazing feats of disciplined animals.
He uses several movie examples in the book, but one in particular is used many times. From the dramatization BRAVEHEART he uses the example of William Wallace in the war against English dominion of Scotland. William Wallace was not a wild man as he is portrayed in Eldridge’s book. He was educated, self controlled and honorable. He was fierce in battle, tender in his marriage, and humble when with his betters. He afforded the noble their due respect. It was only when true injustice became the law of the day did he turn to the fight. Every true warrior regrets the loss of battle.
Eldridge on page 51 of his book talks about the meaning of Genesis 2:18b. In the ESV it reads “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” He asserts that this passage has been mistranslated and that the real meaning of the Hebrew text is that Eve is Adam’s “lifesaver”. It took me a long time to find any discussion on this. Eldridge discusses the Hebrew words “ezer kenegdo” and all of my resources, including no less than nineteen translations into English of the Bible, note the original text to be “ezer neged” which rightly translates to “helper fit for.” I finally found that this passage is widely debated on the internet. Interestingly, I could not find an argument for his translation. Most importantly, in 2 Timothy 2:14 we are admonished, “Charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.” I know he is attempting to make a point but in doing so, enters what appears to be a distracting argument about a word. It did indeed bother this hearer.
Eldridge spends a lot of time discussing “The Wound”. I am sure there are many people who are in psychological pain who may be addressed in the area of their gender. Some of this discussion would be very useful and should direct them toward a counselor and to Christ as a healer. I am also sure that we all bear a wound that has only one cure. That wound is SIN. It is not gender specific. The only cure is Christ.
Eldridge has a dangerous misconception about the heart of man. Scripture says in Mathew 15:18-19 “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” Continuing, in James 1:26, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Likewise, Proverbs 6: 20-22 admonishes “My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.” In Proverbs 14: 30 we find the comparison, “A tranquil heart is life to the body, But passion is rottenness to the bones.” And we receive a life-saving warning in Proverbs 28:26. “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered.”
There is no ambiguity in the scriptural fact, and it cannot be over-emphasized that, man and woman alike, we are fallen, sinful creatures incapable of healing ourselves and without God, are unable to be trusted. Even when we are saved and regenerated, our hearts are not perfect as God asks us to become. The heart is easily deceived and can carry untrue ideas even when we acknowledge the deity of Christ and accept Him as savior. Adam and Eve personally, daily literally walked with God, and they “blew it.” The apostles knew Christ personally, and so did they. The greatest lie the enemy of God tells us is he (Satan, the devil, by any name) does not exist. The second greatest lie is the lie he told us in the garden that we would not die if we disobeyed and that we must be mistaken about what God said. There is only one defense against the fickleness of our heart and the lies of the enemy. God’s word must be stored within our hearts, well known and accessible to the mind of each man and woman; and we must constantly pray to Him, asking to let us understand even a little of His will. If God had been asked if the lies we heard were true, we could live in a different place today.
The strength of man is futile, fleeting, and cannot accomplish much. Our strength is in the Lord who has all strength. In Psalms many times the Lord is referred to as “the strength”. It says in Psalm 147: 10-11 He (the Lord) does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The Lord favors those who fear Him, Those who wait for His lovingkindness. In Ecclesiastes 9:15-18 But there was found in it a poor wise man and he delivered the city by his wisdom. Yet no one remembered that poor man. So I said, “Wisdom is better than strength.” But the wisdom of the poor man is despised and his words are not heeded. The words of the wise heard in quietness are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.
Spiritual warfare is very real. The enemy waits like a roaring lion to devour us. Our defense is not in our strength though, whether as a man or a woman. Our defense lies only in the Lord and His name. We are instructed that the battle is not flesh and blood but God and Satan in the heavens. Our defense is laid out for us in several places. Ephesians 6:13-18 tells how to resist evil,
“Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,”.
Eldridge places emphasis on Ephesians 6 as well on page 173. I feel though he is encouraging a formulaic application to this passage as if saying the words set forth will indeed set the armor in place. I would apply his discussion on page 171 for it is more on point. He speaks of intense time with the Lord alone receiving impressions, praying and studying. This is how we are girded. We must daily drink our fill from the Word of God so that we are continually dressed in the armor of God. Also in I Thessalonians 5:8 we are told again about the armor: “But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation."
Eldridge speaks in Chapter 11 of really living. I believe we would all agree with his assertion that many men do not live to their full potential. He encourages us to break out of our habits of flopping in front of the tube and being absent. This is a timely and worthwhile practice to evaluate. Many of us are, indeed, defeated by our own lethargy and need to realize that one of the lies of the enemy is that it doesn’t matter what we do, it’s only a ballgame—or a movie—who would begrudge you that; besides that, you’re probably not needed. After all, we win in the back of the book.
Many men wander around in a life which does not engage them. They do not, conversely, engage life. This was true for me until the transforming power of Christ became my salvation, my model and my sense of direction: my true North. It is apparent that Eldridge thinks like most of the world that education and information can fix the problems we face. As C.S. Lewis once said “Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil”. Eldridge joins the self help movement to assist beings that cannot help themselves. The only thing that will rid the earth of pain, meanness and suffering, whether it springs out of gender issues or something else, is that the heart of man must change: yours and mine! We must read the Word, hear the truth and worship in the nurture of a well led and balanced place of worship. The truth is Christ and indeed this is the truth that can set us free.
[1]MacArthur, J., Jr. (1996, c1982). How to study the Bible. John MacArthur's Bible Studies. Chicago: Moody Press.
[2]MacArthur, J., Jr. (1996, c1982). How to study the Bible. John MacArthur's Bible Studies. Chicago: Moody Press.
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